If we get it for free from the various “tube” porn sites that pop up in a google search, we’re most likely viewing stolen content.
If we care about the humanity of the performers in the videos we watch - i.e., want them to be cared for, safe, and well-compensated - we really have to pay for our porn. In reality, the only way porn can be feminist is if you’re paying for it. While it’s true that you can find porn that depicts realistic (or fantasy-based), consensual, sex-positive, super-hot sex that doesn’t cater to the male gaze, none of that guarantees you’re watching feminist porn. In my head, I was equating the porn I watched - porn that depicted realistic-ish sex not tailored to the male gaze - with feminist porn. You just have to know how to look for it. Of course you can find porn that depicts realistic sex. A commenter who had obviously only read the Facebook intro and not the article itself left a sarcastic comment about how ridiculous it was that I thought I could use porn to learn about any kind of realistic sex. In the process of writing a book with two female characters who fell in love, as a person who had no experience with that myself, I used porn to help me write realistic sex scenes. In a previous article, I wrote about how I used porn to help discover my sexuality.
